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Warp Warp by Snoopy
Game:Warp WarpCompany:Namco
Type:ShooterPlayers:1/2

In the old comic strip Bloom County, Opus the Penguin once began reviewing a movie by saying it "brought the word ‘Bad’ to new levels of badness. It oozed rottenness from every bad scene…simply bad beyond all infinite dimensions of possible badness…Well maybe not that bad, but lord it wasn’t good." The same description could perhaps be applied to Warp Warp, a regular candidate for worst game ever made on every arcade discussion board I’ve ever been on. Very few games deserve to be relegated to the recycle bin of history, but this is definitely one of them. You want to know why some companies hate emulation? When they have a game like this in their past, I'm not wondering.
I’m not even sure where to begin describing this…this…whatever it is. The leftover fat trimmings of your $25 steak dinner, perhaps, is the best analogy I can come up with. I really can’t say much more than that. The graphics suck, the sound blows, the play control goes from suck to blow, and the plotline (such as it is) is incomprehensible. You are this Arnold wannabe with a gun three sizes too large running around shooting these really stupid looking things that resemble walking mouths with their tongues hanging out (must’ve been taking lessons from Mick Jagger or something). That’s basically the whole game, except that you can jump in this thing in the center sometimes that flashes "warp…warp…" hence the name of the game. (Get it? Isn’t that clever? I thought I should point that out since it’s so subtle it might go over your head) And when you do jump in this thing, it takes you to a different maze where you get to do (drum roll please)…the exact same thing!! Isn’t that just SO cool? I bet the programmers threw a party in the lab when they came up with that revolutionary plot twist!!
If you haven’t figured out by now that I hate this game, and for a damn good reason, then you deserve to be forced to play it for a few hours nonstop. I can almost guarantee you’ll be begging for mercy before you’re even half done. For the rest of us, if haven’t downloaded Warp Warp, you are doing yourself a favor. If you have it only for the sake of completeness, that’s okay, but don’t ever try it unless you’re a masochist. If you have it and you’ve tried it, you have my sympathy. And if you actually like it…may I suggest making an appointment with a psychologist right now?
Graphics
1
1
Sound
Play Control
1
1
Challenge
Replay Value
1
1
Performance
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